As stated in my previous post, New Friends, New Me, The Devil has a way of tempting you with all the power, glory and riches this world has to offer. In the beginning, as you give into these temptations, he draws you into his trap, allowing you to experience the euphoria and power that comes with these things. However, those feelings are only a mirage. Very quickly the mirage disappears and turns into an inescapable prison of self hate and self destruction that leaves a wake of victims in its path.
From 10th grade to 12th grade, my addictions grew and now included pretty much anything I could get my hands on. Cocaine was now my drug of choice and everything I did revolved around me getting that next bump. I sold drugs, broke into cars, broke into houses, shoplifted and pocketed anything of value from my family and friends. If I wanted it, I would get it no matter what I had to do to get it. This included girls as well.
Date rape and taking advantage of the moment was a normal thing for me as well as many of the guys that I hung out with. It shames me to think of the countless young woman that I and my friends treated like pieces of meat. I had no care for the feelings and lives of others. If there was one thing in my past that I could change, it would be the times that I chose to take advantage of the many girls that were in our social circles.
I know now that I contributed to the destruction of many girls’ self-esteem and future marriage bed. If I could, I would apologize to each and every one of them. By the grace of God alone, He has given me the opportunity to do just that in a few of the lives that I brought harm to. In all honesty I don’t deserve their forgiveness. What I did was despicable and evil. No one deserves to be treated like they are of no worth. Used, abused and then tossed to the side.
If you are reading this and you have been treated in this way by me or anyone else, know that it was not your fault. I know many of you feel this way, but I want you to know that you have no blame in it. You were a victim of the inward sin and evil that I and others who were like me gave into. This is not a “the devil made me do it” moment. I take full responsibility for my actions. I deserve Hell and an eternity of fire for the sins I have committed in my life.
For what it is worth, I AM DEEPLY AND TRULY SORRY!!!!
I know this doesn’t make up for the years of pain and suffering that these actions have caused you. Hopefully, by the grace of God, these words will begin to set you free from any bitterness or resentment that you hold. I have counseled many that harbor bitterness and un-forgiveness towards others. Everyone one of them will tell you that un-forgiveness will only leave you imprisoned and unable to move forwards with your life.
The actions of others may have built the prison and walked you into it, but by harboring un-forgiveness, you closed the door and locked it. You hold the key to setting yourself free. No amount of pain and suffering on the part of those who hurt you will open the door. It may make you feel better for a little while, but there are many who find themselves still hurting after those who have hurt them received what they deserved.
I am not asking you to forgive so that myself and those that hurt you can be set free. I am asking you to forgive so that you can be set free. No longer controlled or hurt by the actions of another.
The Bible is clear in Romans 3:23–24,
All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. But they are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.
In Romans 5:8,
While we were enemies of God, Christ died for us.
No one deserves forgiveness for the things that they have done in their lives. It doesn’t matter how good you think you have been, God sees you as an enemy and it was your sin that caused a man to be tortured to death on a cross. Jesus was God, but He was also human. He felt every whip, every thorn, every nail and every insult. As he gasped for breath and gargled on His own blood, He sought to forgive you for putting Him there. He is asking you to do the same for those who have hurt you.
Are you harboring un-forgiveness and bitterness towards someone today? What would it take for you to begin the process of forgiveness?
Has someone hurt you deeply in the past and to this day you are tortured and crippled by the emotions and memories of what they did? Could forgiveness be the key to setting you free from the bondage of those emotions and images?
For if you forgive others their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you your sins. But if you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive you your sins.
Please feel free to share your thoughts below in the comments section.